Last weekend, we celebrated Christmas. Yes, that’s right, Christmas.

I admit, the notion of commemorating a December holiday in May, sounds a little strange. A little wacky. A bit confused. I totally get it. But it’s true. We celebrated Christmas 2014 in May 2015.

At least this year, there was a celebration. The year prior, there wasn’t. 2014 was the year without a Christmas.

Before the pity parties are launched and the notes of concern are drafted, let me be very clear, I did celebrate Christmas. Jeff, David and I had a very lovely holiday. But the extended family gathering – on my side – well, it did not happen. We just couldn’t juggle all of the schedules, tweak the timing and deal appropriately with the last-minute this and that to get the annual get-together on the calendar.

When you’re a kid, holidays are easy. You wake up, make the short trek to the living room and you’re pretty much good to go. The hardest part of your day might be convincing your parents that 4:30 a.m. isn’t too early to check to see if Santa left anything for you under your tree.

Your parents deal with all of the logistics for the entire holiday. They manage the plans for who joins you for Christmas dinner and who you might visit during the  break. As a kid, you’re literally just along for the ride.

As you get older, things aren’t quite so simple. You’re now managing the logistics. There are multiple calendars to consider. There are kids in different schools with varying vacation schedules. Some of the kids play sports, with holiday tournaments immediately after Christmas. There are family members who have crazy work schedules. There are in-laws. And there’s the whole, “What did we do last year?” All of the preceding can make scheduling any kind of fiesta a challenging prospect. Add to mix, the fact that your extended family lives all over the country – and well, getting a date that everyone can convene in a single locale, without breaking the bank, is next to impossible. So you just do the best you can. You make it work.

What that looks like varies slightly from year to year, but there are a few things that are essential to a successful belated holiday gathering. Here are four off the top of my head:

1. 

   A sense of fun and flexibility. In order to celebrate Christmas in any month other than December, you have to adjust your thinking. You need to put aside all of the stereotypical activities and preconceived notions you have about the holidays and be open to creating new memories and traditions. For example, if you’re celebrating Christmas in May in Ohio, it’s highly unlikely that it’s going to snow on the most wonderful day of the year. And that’s OK. Instead of having a snow ball fight after Christmas dinner, how about organizing a water balloon fight? At the same time, don’t feel like you have to abandon all of your favorite Christmas traditions. You can still get all of the kiddos together to make Christmas cookies in May. I don’t know about you, but I think sugar cookies and buckeyes are quite tasty all year-long. I can’t imagine one kid, or adult for that matter, turning his/her nose up to chocolate covered anything just because the holidays are long gone. If you find yourself getting annoyed or a little resentful that you’re not able to have this kind of gathering closer to the holidays, stop yourself in your tracks. Remember, the reason you’re celebrating when you are is because that’s when the bulk of your family can make this happen. And being with your extended family is what it’s all about – right?

2. Gifts – real ones and the gag variety. What’s a holiday celebration without neatly wrapped packages? For the kids, both big and small, it ain’t Christmas if there aren’t gifts to exchange. So, save part of the gift giving for the belated celebration. That’s what we do, anyway. Make the effort to pull out the poinsettia and Santa adorned paper. It’s the holidays after all. Again, add some fun to the mix by including a few gag gifts. This year, my sister, Liz, had my husband’s name in the holiday exchange. In addition to Amazon gift cards, she gave him what turned out to be one of the highlights of the gift exchange. She found a “Things you Need to Know about Chuck Norris” t-shirt. I still laugh when I look at it.

   

3. Your well-rested self. If you’re anything like me, you will want to take advantage of every single minute you’re with your family. None of my siblings live near me. My brother, Bruce, is the closest and he’s still a good three-hour car ride away. My sibling twins, Karen and Kevin, live the farthest, setting up their respective homes in southern California. So, when I have face to face time with any single one of my siblings, it’s game on. We will stay up late and get up early to maximize our time together. Therefore, get plenty of rest in advance of the gathering and tell yourself you will catch up on your sleep once it’s over. You won’t be sorry you got six hours of sleep instead of eight. You will be sorry if you go to bed early and miss the conversation about your niece’s wedding plans and bachelorette party.
4. Empathy. As hard as you will try, you will not be able to accommodate everyone’s schedules. Believe me, we tried really hard last year and just when we thought we found the weekend – someone eventually remembered a work or personal commitment that presented a conflict. Do the best that you can. And remember that your family members are doing the very best they can, too. For those who aren’t able to make it, try to keep them in the loop. Use technology to put them at the party. Skype, FaceTime and plain old phone calls or texting can help bridge the distance and connect you with those who aren’t physically present.

And finally, and this is the hardest part, don’t let the celebration end – even when the last family member has returned to his or her home. Christmas is intended to be celebrated the entire year.

“Christmas is forever, not for just one day,
for loving, sharing, giving, are not to put away
like bells and lights and tinsel, in some box upon a shelf.
The good you do for others is good you do yourself…”
~Norman Wesley Brooks (U.S. design engineer, 1923–2002)